How safety, mistakes and human connection shape confidence and real progress.

Some lessons don’t come from books.

They come from the moments that quietly reveal how fear, anxiety and uncertainty can shut us down and how safety brings us back to life.

A Friday Afternoon in Vietnam

One such moment happened on a hot Friday afternoon in Phan Thiết in Vietnam. I was teaching English to a group of bright and spirited teenagers.

It was the last class of the week, and the heat pressed heavily through the windows. I was running their mock oral exams. But as the students stood up one by one to be assessed, I noticed one boy wasn’t moving.

Let’s call him Khai.

He was tall, shy, sweating through his T-shirt and clearly anxious.

I could see his hands trembling. He seemed to be in a state of freeze, not because he didn’t know the answers, but because he didn’t feel safe. His whole body was reacting to his inner world of fear.

“It’s alright,” I said quietly, “I’ll come back to you later.”

When the class emptied and the pressure dissolved, I asked him to step into the corridor. Without the eyes of the room on him, his English flowed. Clear, warm, confident.

“You’re spoken English is good,” I told him. “But the real test won’t be out here. And it may not be me who assesses you.”

He later passed, not because his English changed, but because his anxiety had dropped. When the threat eases, the freeze response softens. What’s inside can finally come through.

When it’s OK to Make Mistakes

Years later, I found myself on the other side of that same dynamic not as the teacher, but the student. I was in a small Hindi school, learning one-to-one with my teacher, Jaswinder.

She was vibrant, funny, and brilliantly alive in her teaching.
Her eyes danced with enthusiasm and said: “We’re doing this together and we’re going to have fun”.

Something remarkable happened.
My hesitant Hindi suddenly came out fast, playful and confident. I didn’t overthink. I didn’t freeze. I wasn’t scared of mistakes. I felt supported, safe and free to try. Jaswinder made it okay to make mistakes, in fact, she made them part of the fun!

The Science of Feeling Safe

What I saw in Vietnam and felt in India wasn’t random. It was the brain doing what the brain does.

The amygdala, the part of the brain that detects threat, reacts not only to physical danger but also to emotional threat:

• fear of getting something wrong
• anxiety about being judged
• panic when put on the spot
• worrying about embarrassment or failure

When that system fires, the body moves into fight, flight or freeze. In that state, higher brain functions, like learning, language, memory and creativity temporarily shut down.

That’s why we blank.
That’s why we freeze.
That’s why our mind “goes foggy” at the worst possible moment.

But when the environment feels safe, warm and permissive, the amygdala settles. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for problem-solving, clarity and confidence, switches on again. That’s when learning flows. That’s when change becomes possible.

Hypnotherapy: Where Mistakes Are Part of the Journey

In a session, there’s no pressure to perform, no scoring, and no “perfect pace.” There’s space to pause, wobble, learn and move forward in your own rhythm.

When fear, anxiety and panic drop, something shifts.
The freeze response softens.
Your confidence starts to return.

And when the brain feels safe enough to explore and get things wrong without judgement, real change begins.

A Quiet Next Step

If you’d like support moving past fear, anxiety or that familiar freeze response, you’re welcome to book a complimentary discovery call here.